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[quote=Anonymous]Your mom is from a different culture. In American culture, the family is child-centric. In some other cultures, the  parent-child relationship is more parent-centered. This may be why you have always assumed it was normal.

Your relationship with your mom reminds me of me and my mom. She overrelied on me for listening to her, she had a lot of mental health struggles, and I did feel like she loved me, in this needy way. It wasn't healthy, but it was acceptable to me. My mom died when my first kid was a year old, but I was really shocked at how little comfort the baby was to her. I had assumed that my mom would be thrilled, but she wasn't. I think, simply, she was ill and not able to take joy in things that were joyful... When that happens, it's all work and no gain, you know?

Now... I'm not sure if you can ever successfully facilitate a relationship between your kids and your mom. I'm not sure if you should even try. But you should definitely stop letting your mom berate you for things that aren't at all your fault.

TLDR: stop wishing things were different, set good boundaries, and continue having a relationship with your mom; she won't change, she is who she is, but the boundaries will help.[/quote]

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