Reply to How to handle jealousy/loss of friends when kids makes a higher level team?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Congrats to your son OP!

Not surprising the comments from teammates to your son.  Based on what parents write on this board--apple likely does not fall far from the tree.   [/quote]

Sadly, this is so true. Kids learn from and repeat what they see and hear from the adults at home. 😢

Quick thoughts:

- No witty comebacks. That puts too much of a burden n your kid (context and tone are everything) and risks escalating things further I’d kids (or their parents  :roll: ) misinterpret his intent.

- Try hard not to demonize or talk badly about the other kids, even if they’re being unsupportive or even unkind. They’re just kids, struggling to navigate a disappointing situation that they don’t fully understand (i.e. the coach’s criteria). Plus, as I sad above, some may be getting terrible guidance from their parents (bitter/wounded/jealous), so try not to think of them as “bad kids” - they’re just struggling with the situation.

- I think it’s too much to expect the other kids to be “happy” for him or to celebrate his achievements etc. That’s for his family to do - you’re always his best cheering squad. But his disappointed peers? Not at this age. Neutral and not mean should be enough - the have actual feelings about this, too, and asking them to be able to set those aside to be overtly happy for him right now is probably realistic and not age-appropriate.

- Fibally, gently remind your DS that this is a big part of life. Sometimes you get what you want n a situation and are thrilled. Sometimes you don’t and you are disappointed/frustrated/angry/sad. Life is full of both. The trick is to savor and enjoy the good situations and for the disappointing ones, to remember that it’s not the last chance or opportunity to be happy. Feel the feelings, and then move on. [/quote]

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