Reply to I want to make more friends but don't know where to start and how, please help!

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "I want to make more friends but don't know where to start and how, please help!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK, the moms on the sports teams that you chat with/carpool with - I'd start there. Depending on whether you think they'd be more into morning coffee meetup or evening drink meetup, choose one or the other and then send a casual invite to all of the moms on that team. Sometimes it's nice if it is at the beginning or ending of a season, gives you a little excuse - "Let's celebrate the end of a great season! WOuld love to get together for coffee on xx date at xx place (or come over for coffee/wine this night)" - and just see what happens. If you feel close to one mom, you could tell her your plan and then kind of coordinate dates so that you know she can probably make it...then that can help get the ball rolling. 
It may not pan out, but it definitely is worth a try...this is what extroverts do, just throw it out there and see if you get something goingl..but don't be hurt if no one wants to, it's either they are busy or are feeling introverted/nervous themselves. It is worth a shot  -somtimes it doesn't work out or it's just one and done, but other times the relationships have grown from there into close friendships. [/quote]

This is OP, thank you for taking your time typing a thoughtful answer.  Yes, throwing parties, I saw my extrovert friends do that so many times and I never understand how that was so fun for them LOL.  Parties make me exhausted.  But I am willing to give it try.  I am also worried about not knowing how to entertain.  What if they judge me on the food I prepared, or my home decor? How do i keep everyone entertained and fed?  I am worried if I screw up no one would come to my house again...does this sound silly?  yeah I think so too, but I am anxious like that when it comes to socializing.  [/quote]

Throwing parties is a skill and you can certainly learn this skill.  Parties make everyone exhausted and tons of prep goes in throwing them.  Even the extroverts get exhausted throwing parties but the fun comes from knowing that you are capable of entertaining and socializing.  Also, people value friendships, meeting new friends and networking. They also want their children to know how to socialize and throw parties,  So entertaining is very important part of socializing for them.

How about you start small? How about calling a few of the women you meet at the busstop for coffee/tea and some snacks.  You can ask them to come over at around 4 pm on a weekend (give three weeks lead time), and serve some nice tea/coffee and appetizers/snacks.  Don't worry about something elaborate. You can buy some nice cookies, some finger food, some frozen appetizers and makes some dainty sandwiches.   Don't worry about what they think about your food or decor. Even if they have not charitable thoughts about you, your food or your home, no one wants to be the Betch and say that to another person. So they will not discuss you with each other. They might discuss you with their spouse.

After a few weeks, call them again for tea etc. They are also intimidated to call people over. When you show them that this can be done easily, they will also call the other ladies for tea or coffee at their home.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics