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[quote=Anonymous]OP, went through some similar stuff with my mother. Do you know their account numbers and passwords? Even if you don't know passwords, if you have access to their email and phones you can probably get into their accounts online, using "forgot password" etc.

My mother did give me power of attorney some years back, which was fortunate b/c she developed dementia and could not manage her finances etc for the last few years or her life. But I rarely had to use the POA, b/c my brother and I managed to get online access to all her accounts.

Since we knew her SS#, could access her phone, knew all those things like maiden name, etc., at times I simply pretended to be her when dealing with customer service. We got her a landline, for instance, when she started having trouble remembering how to use her mobile phone-- if I had had to go the POA route, it would have taken forever to open a new account with phone company, but I just pretended to be her and no problem. (Ahem, this is not legal advice). My mom never had any interest in this kind of stuff so even as her dementia got worse, she was very happy to have us handle everything. And since my brother and I are the only two kids/heirs and generally saw eye to eye about things, there was never any conflict about how to handle finances.

One other thought: your parents' do not need a lawyer to do a new POA with you as primary. You can download standard VA POA forms online and just go to a notary with them. Obviously this is only feasible if they are willing and their cognitive decline is not so great that they cannot tell a notary they want to sign, physically sign their names and so on, but if they can still do those things at least it eliminates the need for a lawyer.

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