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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in my early 40s and my parents are still alive and I envy people who have parents who are not emotionally immature. I love my parents but they are not a source of comfort or joy for me. I largely maintain a relationship with them so that my child can have a relationship with them, but even that I have to watch carefully because my parents don't know how to be nurturing or supportive and largely just seek these things out from others for themselves (even from their young grandparents).

I sometimes even envy people who have lost their parents if they had really good, functional relationships with them when they were alive. I am sad for them for their loss but I envy the positive relationship that would lead you to mourn your parent's passing instead of being, as I will be, on some level relieved.[/quote]

I identify and can relate to every word of this. Yes. +100000[/quote]

I relate to this mostly. Except my mom takes it a step further and flies into abusive territory and she is still alive. My dad had him limitations, but overall was more loving and he's gone. I'm just grateful I had one parent who would never verbally beat me and who I think loved us. I was relieved when he passed because it was a long illness with a lot of suffering. If I don't keep my boundaries with my mom I think she'll kill me long before she dies. When she passes I think there will be relief that I never have to face another tantrum, verbal assault, tirade of insults. She stopped talking to me for a while and that sense of peace I had knowing i would hear from her for a while was blissful. That said, I think I ever made that permanent by cutting off she'd make my life even more hell.[/quote]

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