Reply to Newly widowed FIL and holiday plans - what are our responsibilities?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Personally, I grew up with having just one grandparent alive on one side and then later the other.  They were never left alone at a holiday.  In your shoes, I would travel to him this year, and then talk about having him move closer to you.  In the future, unless your brother has siblings, yes, you need to host your FIL for both Thanksgiving and Christmas each year.  How awful to be old and alone on a holiday.
So basically, this year, start with your friend trip, but fly to your FIL on Christmas Eve, spend Christmas Day with him, and then fly out back to your friends trip the day after.  ...if you can afford this.  I wouldn't leave FIL alone on Christmas.[/quote]

Yep - my grandparents slowly died. Every two years until it was just my grandma. Granted, she had sisters and nephews but my mother would never have left her alone on an important holiday. Your dh brought it up to give you a heads up that he is thinking that the trip will likely have to be canceled. You need to say, of course we can cancel the trip. Whatever you and your father need. I know it is important for you to be together.

Down the road you have to think about how difficult it will be to get to him in an emergency if he is 9 hours away. You don’t say if he is 65 or 85 but if he is retired and has no support network, is it possible that he would consider moving closer to your family? Obviously bringing it up now is too soon but maybe in a year? [/quote]

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