Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Your son is a grown man and he is responsible for his life and happiness.

My brother did the same to my Dad.  He was working the AA 12 steps and called my Dad on the phone and for two hours told my Dad what a bad childhood he had had.  Clearly my brother did not understand making amends because it was my brother who should have been doing the apology.

My Dad called me very upset and told me about my brother's phone call and asked me if my childhood had been bad.

I talked with Dad for several hours.  My brother and I are 18 months apart in age.  I told Dad that my brother's comments were ridiculous.  We grew up middle class to upper middle class. We were never hungry. We were always clothed. We had heat in the winter.  Understand billions of children around the world go hungry.

I'd maybe do one short statement in response.

Move on with your life.  Live in the moment and push forward.

Your son is a grown man and responsible for his own happiness. You provided love, food, education, clothing and heat during his childhood. Your son was not doing 40 hours a week of child labor like many children do around the world.

It is time for your son to take responsibility for his life and responsibility for his happiness.

You may want to get one counseling session for yourself (with a different counselor) but honestly I'd push forward with your life.

PS.  I went to public high school.  It was a rough place. I was a minority child in a Maryland public high school. I'd have given everything to have been home schooled.
Sometimes public high school is not all that.[/quote]

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