Reply to If you are married to a big law partner, how involved are they in your family's home life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, i am a big law partner and i still serve as the primary parent to our one kid (elementary age). I do bus pick up and drop off every day, oversee all his homework (maybe 30 mins a day - his school is intense), DH and i split breakfast and dinner responsibilities 50/50, i handle all camp planning, dr appts, special needs issues (he has some moderate SN that require oversight and more appts than a typical kid), and teacher communication.  No nanny.  I will never be that kind of rain maker partner that makes $5m a year, but i have a hot niche practice and make good money and consistently get  extremely positive feedback as a rising star. There are choices within firms, and partners have more control over their lives (much of the time) than some would care to admit.  That said, big law lawyers definitely have to work more than most people with FT jobs - so if you're a sahp, i'm not sure why you wouldn't handle almost all of this.[/quote]

As for your last line: I think it’s important for the working parent to be involved because it makes him/her a more integral part of the family. You get to know your kids when you take care of them and you get to know your partner when you work together toward common goals. For instance, I could always be the one who takes the kids to their activities, but when DH has time he volunteers so that he can spend more time with them. DH also manages the family calendar because a) he’s better at it and b) it helps him know what’s going on with his family.

Also sometimes SAHPs have medical issues that prevent them from doing as much as they otherwise could and they are going to need more help (that has been me off and on). I also think that just because one partner has decided to work a ton doesn’t automatically mean the other partner should have to work a ton. Work a lot, yes. As much as the big law partner? Not necessarily. I need breaks, and if DH can help me take them, I’m going to accept. [/quote]

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