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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] She needs to get you copies, or at least the name of the atty so you can obtain them.

The day could come when she's in the hospital, with, say , a broken hip...and the dr and nurses are asking you what her directives are and are you the POA and do you have the paper? That's really stressful-ask me how I know! (mom had said 'the papers are in the safe'. This ended up actually meaning on a random tabletop in the same room as the safe, under other stuff....)[/quote]

But if she is able to speak for herself then she can name a surrogate, in the absence of paperwork. The issue is if she’s unable to speak for herself.

The assisted living would typically request copies if the documents, but again - the fact that she designated OP as POA upon admission would likely suffice. It sounds like OP is more frustrated that their mom didn’t communicate with them about it prior. It does not sound like they wish to be POA.[/quote]

OP here,

Exactly, I'm worried that she has something like a stroke, she needs me to act as POA, or to follow her advanced directives, and I don't have the documents or know what they say.  I think, for example, if I'm her financial POA it would be helpful for me to know things like what bank she uses, and whether and what company she has for LTC insurance.

I don't mind being her POA, if I have the information to do it .  I haven't had a great deal of contact with her over the past 4 years, because of crises in my own life, and I had assumed she had more contact with my brother than me since he lives close, so to hear her say that I'm the reliable one who answers the phone and she feels she can count on, makes me very sad for her.  [/quote]

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