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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so lost. I just lost it on my youngest who kept screaming at me this morning. I screamed back in his face for him to stop it. I forcefully dragged him to his room, threw him in, screamed in his face and left. I hate being a mother and I'm total garbage at it. I cannot be calm in the face of his constant screaming and emotional state. I can do it about 200 times a day, but then by 201 I completely lose my shit. I need help. I have ADHD and am currently grieving the loss of a close family member and in the throes of depression. My marriage is distant and not a source of strength or comfort for me outside of the logistical help. I cannot do simple things like make a doctor's appointment for myself or my child because my ADHD is raging out of control so I can focus for 10 minutes but all the hoops of finding help are just so impossible. I've asked DH to help with scheduling appointments but he's totally slammed at work. I just want to check out. I am trash and my child is hurting. Stupid post, I know, but I have nobody to talk to in this extreme shame I'm feeling.[/quote]

I'm sorry, OP. This is not a stupid post at all. Sounds like you're really going through a lot. Think of small ways you can decompress, even just watching TV at night after your DC goes to bed. Make lists of things you need to do and just go through your lists like a robot, doing the next thing and checking it off. Hug your kid. Put that on the list.

Hang in there. You are not a garbage mother. You're having a really hard time.[/quote]

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