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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I once pushed my child when she was four in a fit of overwhelm and rage, and will never forgive myself for it.  I understand how you feel OP.  I think the fact that you’re so remorseful indicates that you are a good and loving mother.  We are all only human, and parenting is very hard.[/quote]

It only matters if you put in the work to change the dynamic. Being remorseful doesnt help anyone if you keep repeating the same mistakes.

OP- you need to throw whatever money at getting yourself medicated. $1000 is worth your sanity.

I also want to emphasize getting into an endo and having them run a full panel for thyroid. My undiagnosed hypothyroid exacerbated my anxiety and ADD symptoms and I was only borderline. It took an endo willing to see if medication improved my symptoms not just relying on a TSH result. I had major PP rage and anxiety- traditional anxiety meds did nothing, weaning from BFing did nothing and actually made it worse, going back on mood disorder meds only slightly improved. In one year of thyroid management I am 75% better at managing my emotions and overload on sensory stimulus (crying, whining, too much noise, etc). I also had periods of severe exhaustion where I could feel my body shut down. All I wanted to do was run away because it was all too much. The feelings of self-loathing after being angry and irritable only continued the cycle and this was while I already had psychiatric help. [/quote]

Yes, I agree with this poster. I was diagnosed with various thyroid diseases post-partum and I am convinced they were at play when I had PPD, except we didn't know it at the time. I was finally diagnosed with Grave's disease and my thyroid was surgically removed. Now I'm on thyroid repacement hormones for life,  which I had to get used to, but the alternative sent me regularly to hospital, so...

Get a full medical check-up and blood work, OP. [/quote]

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