Reply to I feel like my relationship with my kid's IEP team often become adversarial

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Reply to "I feel like my relationship with my kid's IEP team often become adversarial"

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[quote=Anonymous]We have a mainstreamed adhd asd kid in fifth and our relationships are mostly fine.  I’ve always gone in with a very realistic attitude: I know my kid is always going to struggle in school, I know that the school has limited resources and parents making demands left right and center, and I know that teachers are busy, underpaid and not experts in disabilities.

So we go in generally being super nice and emphatic in our appreciation, we make low demands/requests, we send a lot of money and we do a lot of private support outside of school and parent oversight, and I basically treat every accommodation that he gets as a win.

Is it perfect? No.  But I’ve never seen a parent ever, ever gain anything by complaining to a school. SN or not. Schools hate demanding parents and there’s no upside to being a pain in their backside.

So set demands low, be realistic, be kind, and they tend to like you better and meet your (low) demands.  But it’s better than going in with fists up, making lots of demands and getting nothing out of the,, but teachers and admin who now hate your kid. I have friends who have gone through that. [/quote]

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