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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Or maybe she's not eager to have her kid surrounded by kids who have been raised by parents with attitudes like yours.  If she gets in, it must be because she was a legacy; if she doesn't, she's a loser whose Mom must have been lying.  Charming.  [/quote]

You might try to re-read my post again after you have had some morning coffee (that was quite a hostile response).  Also re-read the article, if you really care.  My ultimate point is that IF the girl is a good academic candidate (excellent grades AND scores -- and the article does not mention test scores at all); and IF the mom believes Princeton would be a good option for her; THEN the mother is being defeatist, especially given the documented advantage to legacies in college admissions.  There's no "if she gets in" going on here -- the mother has asserted she will dissuade or has dissuaded her daughter from applying.

Because your average Princeton grad knows very well the advantage of legacy status, this suggests to me that, as is not uncommon in "first person" articles designed to make a larger point (value for kids who show work ethic and aren't over-programmed), the author is massaging the facts (i.e., selecting emphasizing some but not others) to help her make that larger point.[/quote]

And I was flagging the "IF the Mom believes Princeton would be a good option for her" issue (a question you didn't seem to be considering in your original post) and, specifically, pointing out that the question of good options isn't just a "can you do this" question but a "is this what you want" question.  The kid values a balanced life; the parent's claim/perception is that Princeton is full of kids who want success at any cost (and that the costs, both literal and psychic, have escalated to an insane level) and whose definition of success (admissions, class rank) has become divorced from the qualities/characteristics/experiences that enable people to live satisfying lives once they're out of school.

Sorry that I was harsh -- it was pre-coffee and I was reacting to two posts in a row that followed the same "if you can (or even might be able to), then you should/must" logic wrt Ivy League colleges and your post seemed to ratchet that up a step further ("if you don't, it's probably because you secretly know that you can't and you're trying to obscure that fact").  But my point is a substantive one.   The whole "dare to dream/reach for the brass ring" thing becomes not an inspiration but a prison when the goals and prizes don't really have anything to do with the values, interests, or desires of the kid being urged on by his/her parents.  [/quote]

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