Reply to If you are (or have) a stepmom . . . (long message)

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't have this issue with my own parents, but DH's parents divorced when he was in college and his dad remarried (so DH was in his 20's when his dad remarried). While DH has a good relationship with his father's second wife, DH does not consider her his step-mother, as she did not raise him and he did not meet her until he was an independent adult. He calls her by her first name, and he introduces her as his "father's wife X." Our kids do call her Grandma X, but they have know her their whole lives and consider her a grandmother. So, I think that the term step-mother already implies a kind of closeness, at least that the step-parent was involved in one's life while growing up; however, I do agree the term "step" can be construed as a distance on the relationship, but I like the suggestions to use "step-mom" - some may say that's a distinction with no difference but I do think it helps dissipate the distance that could be construed by the word "step." I have to say, as a mother myself, the idea of my kids callig a woman they meet when they are 12 years old the term "mother" or "mom" would probably crush me, no matter how close she becomes to them. If I died and DH remarried I would want him to find a partner to love and help raise our kids, but I would hope they would find a term to call her other than mother :-([/quote]

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