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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I knew a mother who felt this way a few years ago.  She had other mental health issues, OP.  It’s not a natural or normal way to feel.  It’s a biological imperative that we think our offspring are the most attractive.  [/quote]

Not OP but I am objectively able to tell some kids are better looking than mine. I think another poster nailed it when saying that it's good to be above a certain threshold of looks because it makes life easier. I think, but don't know, that there are diminishing returns after a certain point -- certainly being ugly is not good when it comes to relationships, social, jobs, but being good-enough looking (okay - looking?) is important. Super model good looks may actually hurt in some areas. Anyone know what studies say about this?

You know, I do have mental health issues (garden variety anxiety / depression like some crazy % of women). So I suppose it's possible that part of the reason I am able to tell my kids aren't super models is related. I know depression and anxiety are linked w an ability to see more clearly and objectively generally. But I'm not sure that's the reason in my case (honestly, I think it's an ability to see the big picture) and I Don't think mothers who aren't able to realize their kids aren't great looking are the only healthy ones.

Plus, one thing I have realized as my kids get older is that they really change A LOT through the years-  not just what they look like but if they are good looking or not.[/quote]

Agree with all this (including the thing about depression making you more objective— there have been studies that show depressed people are better able to recall actual details if a scene whereas people who are not depressed tend to forget more easily and fill them in with imagined details that tend to be more positive).

I also think more people know their own kids’ flaws more than they let on because people are pretty good at selecting flattering photos of their kids to share with others. I know lots of people whose kids always look amazing on social media but IRL I can see they are more average. If “mom goggles” were real, you’d see more people post photos where their kid just looks okay but she thinks they look amazing. I know my kid has certain angles and features that are less cute, and I consciously edit photos that emphasize them out. While of course I think my kid is beautiful, I’m able to objectively know when they don’t look as good and shield them from having that exposed. I don’t think that means I’m mentally ill, I think it makes me a good mom![/quote]

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