Reply to Would you have a serious relationship with someone with 200k in student loan debt?

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[quote=Anonymous]Ooof.

That's a lot of money for a very low paying career. It sounds like you're dating, just not serious? I would get a conversation going about this, at a time when it's appropriate. Probably before moving in together? She's only 23, I assume you're not much older, so I can't imagine you're on the autobahn to the alter here.

Here's the thing - she's 23 and just starting her first real job. She needs at least a year to live her life out on her own before you guys get to any kind of enmeshed situation. I'd punt on all this for another year. Date her, be exclusive, whatever, for the next year. If, come next year, you guys are still in a strong relationship, and are looking to make a bigger move like moving in together and/or getting engaged, then it's time for the conversation.

Then the questions would be, to me:

1) How does she plan on tackling this debt? 
2) What are the interest rates?
3) Is there hope of a public service loan repayment option?
4) What's her general attitude, how does she feel about it?

Even outside the status of your relationship, I DON'T think you can get an accurate view of #4 with someone who is 23 and hasn't even started working yet. You've got to give her a little time to get her life together, start seeing what a paycheck looks like at $53k a year, start budgeting, seeing where the money goes, seeing how hard the repayment is, before you start asking questions.

Next summer - she could be saying "oh, yeah, it'd be great if I could move in with you. Then I wouldn't have to pay rent and could pay down my loans, plus I never get to do anything fun cause I always have no money" and "let's get married soon - I really want a baby!" - red flag ticker tape parade.

Or she could be saying "Okay, yikes, this is $1200 a month** is so harsh. This was NOT worth it, and I wish I'd understood what this meant when I was 18. Anyway, I am where I am, so I'm living with roommates to keep costs down, and I'm doing some extra tutoring, so I can currently pay $1700 towards it each month and I'm eating lots of ramen - if I keep going like this for 10 years, I should have cut it down DRAMATICALLY by the time I'm ready to have kids, so that's good. I also might consider moving to a place that pays teachers more. New York teacher salaries are much higher, that's something to seriously consider. Would you be interested in moving?"

Or something else - maybe she's researching public service debt forgiveness or looking into more lucrative careers, or trying to get on the track to administration with higher salaries, or, or or... If she taking responsibility and making active steps to deal with it, it would not be a dealbreaker for me.

**Assuming 30 years, 5% interest[/quote]

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