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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother is getting married next year.  He is in his mid 30s.  His fiancée is early 30s or late 20s (I haven’t met her yet).  This is my brother’s second wedding.  Their wedding is on a Saturday. It will take me a full long day to drive there.  The bride’s parents have graciously invited my siblings (+spouses and children if we bring them) and parents to dinner at their house the Thursday ...1) Would you go two days earlier than planned to have dinner at the home of the bride’s parents?  It is kind of them to host but lengthens the trip.  2) Would you bring your kids at all or just leave them home?  The kids are welcome at the wedding ceremony but not at the reception afterwards.  3) Am I being cheap or petty to reduce the wedding gift amount due to the added cost of two nights at a hotel?
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You are not being cheap, petty, or unreasonable.  Full day drive is a hideous 8-11 hours?  I'd fly with the DH and leave the kids with DH parents if they are local to OP.  That Thursday dinner at the bride's parents house is a no.  Do the bride+groom live near her parents or is this a big junket to her hometown for that wedding?  If so the couple might arrive on Wednesday or Thursday.   Is there a rehearsal or welcome party dinner Friday night?

Travel Friday and  fly- arrival time TBD.   Miss dinner-arrive for dessert or drinks after the dinner.  You can adjust the gift for transportation costs and hotels but you can't flex days off from work. If it's an area with good flights you can even fly Saturday am.   [/quote]

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