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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I appreciated my parents till I got married and spouse helped me realize how horrible they were to me and then when I became a parent, just how crummy they were.  Maybe there is a good reason. [/quote]

Not sure if he has made you happier with that addition. For sure it sounds like he has distanced you from your family of origin. Depending upon how dysfunctional they were, that could be healthy. I would trust the input of a mental health professional more though. (He could just be trying to control you.)

I realize that I benefitted greatly from having parents who provided me with unconditional love and a stable home. They also demonstrated good values and put our family first. Those are definitely lessons that I have carried through to raising my children. [/quote]

He is the furthest person from controlling but let me see my  parents were.  He has given me choices and freedom vs. with my parents its all their way or no way.  The irony is they want me to be grateful for them paying for college when they paid for it with grandparent money, for example.  Now they want me to be grateful to them when they never babysit, never get gifts for my kids for their birthdays, or even see us or the grandkids as they have other priorities.  Nope, I'm done.  I am very happy to have a spouse who supports me and helped me see how damaging they are.   If I don't do it their way, I'm brutally attacked.  Even if I do it they're way its never good enough.  Once I could see it and he helped me stand up to them, I'm much much happier.  Ironically they threaten me all the time with inheritance and say I'm disowned so who knows what the truth is but I'd rather them keep their money and me keep my happiness by not having them control me with money that doesn't exist nor do I need.

I don't need a therapist to create more drama.  I needed someone like my  husband to  agree that they were toxic and help me out of the situation.  [/quote]

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