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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Its fine to be shy or reserved. There is nothing wrong with them. Not everyone has to be a social butterfly. Your love and trust would give her confidence and she'll gain confidence with age and exposure.

To give her opportunity to do so, get her involved in group activities. It can be anything from playdates with her age group to one on one discussion dates with adult relatives like grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins or paid activities like theater, toastmasters, group sports.

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+1. I was a shy child and I consider myself a shy adult but no one except my closest friends would suspect this because over time I developed the ability to “act” not shy. It happened naturally and was not helped by any adults forcing me to do uncomfortable social things. But honestly I feel like shyness should be a neutral personality trait and I’m not sure why it isn’t. Not everyone needs to be extroverted. It’s a problem if it gets in the way of what your child wishes he/she could do, but it should not be a problem if it only gets in the way of what adults think a kid should/should not do. [/quote]

I feel like you are criticizing those of us who say we are working with our children and forcing them to acknowledge/respond to greetings. IMO, these are life skills. I'm sorry if you feel like your parents pressured you into doing things you were uncomfortable with, but we are doing what we do under the advisement of a physician and a sibling who is a psychologist that works with children, so I'll take my advice from professionals and not just some rando who is shy, thanks.[/quote]

Ok I didn’t criticize you, but you clearly took it personally and imagined criticism and also rudely tried to hurt me by discrediting my perspective and insulting me by calling me a “rando who is shy.”  I was trying to offer a helpful perspective and I do not appreciate your attack. I also never said my parents pressured me into doing anything. They actually didn’t, and fiercely protected me from other adults who had expectations that were too much for me. Example: Uncle Ron wants all the kids to greet him with a hug. My mom knows this is horrifying for me. Instead of making me run away and hide or diss him myself (compounding the shyness with humiliation), she spoke up on my behalf and said little Larla is not fond of hugs these days Uncle Ron. Feel free to force your children to do whatever you think is important, but consider that you are teaching your child that his/her needs and comfort are secondary to the social needs/expectations of someone else, and what message that actually sends your child.[/quote]

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