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[quote=Anonymous]How much did you encourage her to think about other people when she was growing up? I'm not trying to blame you here, just thinking that some kids are naturally empathetic and some have to be taught.  You probably had to learn to think about how other people were feeling because you needed to be able to predict how your self-involved mother was going to react to stuff.

So. Now you know your daughter needs to be reminded of these things. Tell her what you want to her to know:

"You can borrow my car for a few days, so find out when the garage can fit you in." When you hand over the keys, tell her that if she picks you up on [day the car is supposed to be ready], you can give her a ride to pick up her car.

If she doesn't seem to care how her grandmother is doing, tell her: "You seem pretty calm about this, but I'm really worried. Could you please make some soothing noises?" Don't ask her if she even cares about grandma; she doesn't have to feel a certain way. But she needs to learn to care -- or fake it -- about other people's feelings.

When she's touting her work abilities, empathize, non-sarcastically: "It's nice to be appreciated. It must feel really good to hear that they do." Or "I want to ask you if you've though about why they appreciate that so much without sounding like a job interviewer. But, like, did you think that was going to be the thing you got known for?" Try to get her into the heads of other people. [/quote]

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