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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have a close bond with my parents at all.  We have always been as you described. They have never made an effort to get to know me or my interests (and at some points judged me harshly for having my interests).  It was made clear to me that I was not what they expected.  I am very successful in my career and family. I still love my parents and we still have absolutely nothing in common.  I still have my "strange" interests in the outdoors, and now my kids have those too. I am intentionally cultivating a different relationship with my kids because that is what I want (and what I needed as a kid too).  My parents are kind and loving, but I always wanted more.  I'm giving my kids more, maybe they will want less (lol). [/quote]

Thank you so much, this is so helpful!
I am trying hard, very hard not to judge my kid. 
My biggest issues is that he likes videogames (yes some of them have elaborate narratives based in history), and the books he likes aren’t my kind of books (not about “real life”). I know it’s totally ok for him to like that. But I can’t help but feel like it’s just very different from what I would choose.
And I feel like he kind of likes what I am suggesting, sometimes… but not much and rarely.
Maybe I am too influenced by all the “my kid is my best friend” stuff but In these terms no, I don’t think we would be friends with him!

Maybe you have some advice and tips for me as I don’t want my kid to feel judged or even worse, unwanted or a disappointment. He is just different from me and it’s hard for me to bridge the gap. But I am trying :) [/quote]

He is his own person. You cannot and should not expect him to be like you. His job as a pre-teen and teen will be to separate and individuate from his parents, and develop his own identity, especially in the context of peers. Your job is to love and support him as he does that.

- mom of a teen boy[/quote]

+1. I think the issue here is your expectations of what a relationship with a child should be. Part of what will help you is reframing those expectations. He’s a different person and those are his interests (and many boys his age love gaming). Disappointment because someone is different from us isn’t full acceptance of who they are. The first step here is working on full acceptance of him from not being like you. Once that happens, you may find your relationship with him change for the better.[/quote]

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