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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have a close bond with my parents at all.  We have always been as you described. They have never made an effort to get to know me or my interests (and at some points judged me harshly for having my interests).  It was made clear to me that I was not what they expected.  I am very successful in my career and family. I still love my parents and we still have absolutely nothing in common.  I still have my "strange" interests in the outdoors, and now my kids have those too. I am intentionally cultivating a different relationship with my kids because that is what I want (and what I needed as a kid too).  My parents are kind and loving, but I always wanted more.  I'm giving my kids more, maybe they will want less (lol). [/quote]

Thank you so much, this is so helpful!
I am trying hard, very hard not to judge my kid. 
My biggest issues is that he likes videogames (yes some of them have elaborate narratives based in history), and the books he likes aren’t my kind of books (not about “real life”). I know it’s totally ok for him to like that. But I can’t help but feel like it’s just very different from what I would choose.
And I feel like he kind of likes what I am suggesting, sometimes… but not much and rarely.
Maybe I am too influenced by all the “my kid is my best friend” stuff but In these terms no, I don’t think we would be friends with him!

Maybe you have some advice and tips for me as I don’t want my kid to feel judged or even worse, unwanted or a disappointment. He is just different from me and it’s hard for me to bridge the gap. But I am trying :) [/quote]

He is like his dad.  You are the one who comes from a different culture and a different language.

I think your situation is not uncommon and your son probably wants to fit in the "American" culture and not stand out.

My sons are 1st generation Americans and have learned to navigate and embrace both cultures and we surround ourselves with diverse friends and families.

I actually could "bond" with them better when they were young before they became teens/more independent. Now they are closer to dad and have more "guy" things to bond with him.

Have you thought about that YOU might be the different one in the family? 
[/quote]

His dad is also not American. They are just more alike personality wise, but they don’t seem to have a close bond either.
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