Reply to 24 year old DD angry at her dad post-divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to at least tell her that you jointly decided to get a divorce based on longer term incompatibility and that her father didn't leave you so that he could date other women. You also need to show her that you are fine with the fact that he is dating, even if you aren't dating anyone.

Given what you described, the divorce probably came out of nowhere from her perspective and she is trying to navigate the world as an adult without the touchstone of her childhood family.  It is going to be bumpy for awhile.  She probably feels like she was lied to and she needs time to adjust.  Continue to reassure her that you did have a happy family -- that wasn't a lie.  And you and your ex both love her and continue to respect each other.  Your decision to divorce isn't a reflection on the past, but rather your different desires for the future.

[b]As much as you can, talk to her about what will stay the same and what will be changing in terms of things like holidays and family vacations/visits. [/b]

If your ex is suggesting that he spend time with DD, do not involve his new GF -- even if she is amazing, your DD isn't ready for that yet.

Good luck.  My parents divorced when I was around your DD's age and it was bumpy for awhile, but we are now a very functional divorced family.[/quote]

You have no idea what will stay the same.  Don't make promises you can't keep.  For all you know, your ex is going to spend every holiday with his new girlfriend's family.  For all you know, you're going to remarry someone who has kids and every holiday will be spent with three middle school boys.  Who knows.

If it was a happy family you wouldn't have divorced.  You had a fake happy family that was secretly unhappy, and you, OP, chose to divorce and make her have to deal with it for the rest of your life.  Own your choices, stop telling her everything is great, and she'll be a lot less mad.[/quote]

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