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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as a non-mom, I don't think your sister will give you the "standing" to see you as an advisor.

I don't think there is anything you can do here to help.  When an adult child comes to live at home, (most of the time) it throws both parent and child back to the patterns of last high school year, so the kid does "infantalize" down--and so does the parent.  It's really hard to break the patterns that involve both dealing with a parent AND being in the same territory as you were as a child.

The classic is your 40 y.o. totally funcitional kid comes home for Thanksgiving, and suddenly you are doing their laundry and dishes.  Some parents have noticed that when they (the parents) move to a new house, it's easier to start up with new behaviors when an adult kid comes to visit.

But an adult kid in the house of their youth, with their parent, and LIVING there, not visiting? It's an environment that is not set up for the kid to engage in "adulting" behavior.

So my advice is to just be a kind ear for your sister.[/quote]

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