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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would love to hear your story. My son is only 12 and a lovely kid, but I just can’t feel the connection, the closeness I feel with my father for example. Does it ever change? I love him and we talk about things and I don’t have any negative feelings, but he is just so different it’s hard to find things in common.
Maybe that’s how it is supposed to be, he is a preteen after all, but I have started feeling it when he was maybe 8?
First, I am an immigrant and he is very Americanized which I don’t mind but it makes it harder to connect. He rejected my first language fairly early on and wouldn’t speak it. He is not interested in visiting my home country though there is tons of kid friendly things, kids are often outside playing unlike here etc.
He is also more like his dad in personality and interests which I don’t mind but just saying it may be a contributing factor.
Maybe it’s also because he is a boy.
Anyway, [b]I am tired of finding common ground, common interests, and bonding activities[/b]. I just go through the motions of parenting but he feels like a welcome guest and honestly I may be relieved when he finally leaves. 
So tell me, is this normal? And does it change? I was always close with my dad, separated somewhat as an adult, much thanks to my mother’s dysfunction, but we are now close again. So I know it can be different than what my son and I have, and it can change, but I want some reassurance I guess.
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I just want to say that I think the fact that you are doing these things is priceless. Truly. You might never have a deep connection but he is growing up with a mom who is making an effort to meet him where he is at and that's so much more than other kids get. [/quote]

Thank you so much for this! I am actually going to reduce my effort, or was going to… because it feels like A LOT. It is very hard to find something both of us want to do. So I make him travel and he makes me watch his dumb YouTube videos lol [/quote]

PP here. I think it's totally valid to reduce your efforts. You need to protect your energy, and kids that age need a little more space anyway. [/quote]

Thank you! I may have to come to terms that when left to his own devices my kid likes really lowbrow if not cringy stuff lol! [/quote]

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