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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have a close bond with my parents at all.  We have always been as you described. They have never made an effort to get to know me or my interests (and at some points judged me harshly for having my interests).  It was made clear to me that I was not what they expected.  I am very successful in my career and family. I still love my parents and we still have absolutely nothing in common.  I still have my "strange" interests in the outdoors, and now my kids have those too. I am intentionally cultivating a different relationship with my kids because that is what I want (and what I needed as a kid too).  My parents are kind and loving, but I always wanted more.  I'm giving my kids more, maybe they will want less (lol). [/quote]

Thank you so much, this is so helpful!
I am trying hard, very hard not to judge my kid. 
My biggest issues is that he likes videogames (yes some of them have elaborate narratives based in history), and the books he likes aren’t my kind of books (not about “real life”). I know it’s totally ok for him to like that. But I can’t help but feel like it’s just very different from what I would choose.
And I feel like he kind of likes what I am suggesting, sometimes… but not much and rarely.
[b]Maybe I am too influenced by all the “my kid is my best friend” stuff[/b] but In these terms no, I don’t think we would be friends with him!

Maybe you have some advice and tips for me as I don’t want my kid to feel judged or even worse, unwanted or a disappointment. He is just different from me and it’s hard for me to bridge the gap. But I am trying :) [/quote]

Where are you getting this stuff? TV shows? I have only ever heard "your kids are not your friends" kind of parenting advice. :)

I'm glad you're trying not to judge your kid. But perhaps you can get to the point where you can really appreciate his interests, even if you don't share them? I started playing Minecraft with my kids and I found that I really liked it. I started listening to fantasy novels with my husband and I really like those too now, and now we have lots of things to talk about as a family even if Minecraft and fantasy novels still aren't my preferred way to spend time.

- NP[/quote]

Haha interesting that you mentioned a videogame and fantasy! These are some of my son’s interests that I just can’t really share! He is more into sci fi/dystopian/steam punk but the thing is I never liked them. We listen so some books together in the car and while I am not bored these are not the ones I would choose (which is normal I know but just saying). Videogames - the most I can bring myself to do is discuss the rules and the story line. I do give credit when I see that a game is based on history for example

It’s just a chore to share the interests that are different :)
And even then. Left to his own devices he will read manga and manga based novels. And no he will not watch the classic anime, like Miyazaki. What he likes is I think fairly poor taste (he made me watch some episodes lol)
And I can’t constantly force feed him with “good stuff” and restrict the cringy stuff. [/quote]

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