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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband cheated with high school sweetheart"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am writing it as someone whose exH carried over a hidden affair at work for 5 years. He also did it on work trips/abroad. In my case it was a strong emotional connection between the 2 of them, so he would not stop seeing her. And I wanted out, too as I didn't want to live as a family with his AP so involved in my marriage forever. But if your husband is already broken up with that woman, she's already disposed of and irrelevant. Her texting you shows her weakness. Do not break your marriage over some whore. Particular if your husband wants to reconcile, work on the relationship. You have 3 kids to think of ! If otherwise the marriage felt good (no abuse, alcohol, he is a good earner) try to stick it out. Do not confront him openly, do not talk about a divorce. Give yourself time to line up finances, research lawyers, get all statements. Then keep it locked in your drawer until kids are out for college. [/quote] If she’s a whore than what does that make the husband? Both the husband and AP are equally culpable, no?[/quote] +1 A few posts here are chiming in as if the DH is a keeper if he's somehow "good" and the OP should be focused on keeping the marriage together "for the kids." I am not a knee-jerk "get divorced!" poster like some on DCUM, but it's going too far in the other direction to let the DH off the hook "for the sake of the kids" or to focus on the AP as the "whore" as if only she is culpable. The DH needs to admit this to the wife. I'd much rather have heard about an affair, yes, even after the fact, from DH than from the AP. That's horrible The DH should already have come clean, and now OP has to confront him instead. The DH had better be ready to work like a dog in constant therapy, stop traveling for work (seriously, I'd make this a requirement even if he had to change jobs, since he knows how to take advantage of work travel to screw) and grovel like hell. [/quote]
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