Reply to NT Child and ADHD Child Don’t Get Along

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Reply to "NT Child and ADHD Child Don’t Get Along"

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, usually posters in SN are much more supportive than this. I'm sorry people are being accusatory here, OP. You can't change the past, but you can change the future, and I think that's where you have to focus. It doesn't really matter how you got to this point - probably you erred on the side of being too lenient at some points and too strict at others with each child, and that's how it is for nearly all of us. Some kids roll with that and get through it, and others less so.

COVID meant even more togetherness than normal, and my kids who previously got along well started to fight a lot more. My NT and ADHD kid also have struggles not completely different from yours, and their age range is similar. I think some of it has to due with the point they are in their lives, too - ages 1 and 4 were pretty good; ages 6 and 10 were tough, etc.

I would focus on doing separate things with them and keeping them separate to bolster up each of them for a while. Ensure they feel connected with you and their other parent if there is one involved. Be present and ready to step in whenever they are together, and try to minimize how much time they are together without an adult there. Help them focus on positive things and distract when the other is likely to trigger them.

Also, don't focus so much on the future. Who knows that that will bring, so don't focus on building this theoretical friendship between them for life. It may or may not happen, and that may or may not bother them. Family therapy can also be great and help you identify some things to focus on.[/quote]

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