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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You want to make amends with someone who spoke disrespectfully about your own child? What kind of self esteem problems do you have to even entertain this? [/quote]

She treats her own kids poorly too. 
But she’s the grandmother of my kids, I do find it all confusing 
My preference is not to have anything to do with her [/quote]

What's the point of saying that she's the grandmother of the kids if she is a mean grandma to the kids?  Why do you want that for your daughter?[/quote]

I guess because she’s family and I wish the situation was better 
I’d like my kids to have the grand parents they deserve [/quote]

I can empathize. I’m in a similar situation and had to come to terms with not getting the mother I deserve and my kids not getting the grandparents they deserve either. It isn’t easy yet it’s possible to get used to it after a while.

The advice here to let DH communicate is good.

My sibling lies about me to others. Sometimes, people believe it. We don’t have many people in common for this reason—as in zero shared friends. I never invite them to parties with other people, and I tell them very little about my life. I talk about gardening and other boring topics.

With people who are cruel or not right in the head, there isn’t much to do other than avoid them.

DH has a difficult aunt. After her nonsense, I said I won’t go visit her. If she comes to family events, I’ll talk to her but I don’t want to be stuck waiting an hour for her to show up or have her pretend to get lost in her tiny town and direct us 45 min out of our way so we are late to dinner with the SIL she doesn’t like. No thanks.

I don’t know if this will work for you but I am direct with my mother. I said she could expect to see no more of me if she screamed at me. If she started screaming, I left every time. Eventually, she stopped. [/quote]

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