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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My cousin’s husband is confrontational and enjoys being “edgy” in his extreme conservative views. Never mind that most of the people in my family vote the same way he does; if he perceives someone to be liberal or remotely tolerant of “liberal views” (even though they maybe only voted for a Democrat for president once or twice), he loves to pounce on them and needle them. He really tries hard to engage with me and with my brother and sister, because we are Democrats. We don’t care to talk about political issues or hot-button social topics at family events, but this guy comes out of the gate and doesn’t even bother saying hello, he just gets all up in your face trying to get you to disagree with him and engage.

Another cousins wedding is coming up, and I just know he’ll try to do this, even though it is a wedding and should be a purely fun and joyful day. I’m thinking if he tries this on me, I can simply say, “Jake, today is about celebrating Anna and Steve, and if you want to dance or eat cake, I’m here for that. But if you want to talk about politics or social issues, I’m afraid I can’t indulge you today.” I know that’s kind of pointed, but this guy ruins every event, honestly. He makes even fellow conservatives uncomfortable because he his so outlandishly rude. As far as I know, no one has ever said this to them or to his wife, but nobody likes having him around. He’s a special type of jerky that even if you agree with his view, you are annoyed by his “look at me, I’m so scandalous” behavior. Many relatives have talked about how tired they are of his antics. Is there a better way to shut this down?

[/quote]

This is way, way too polite.

"Jake, you do realize you ruin every event with this behavior, right?  And you embarrass your wife.  Just this once, please don't make a spectacle of yourself, and concentrate on celebrating Steve and Anna."

You do realize, OP, this is your (all of your) fault for not calling out this behavior earlier.  
[/quote]

OP here. I have definitely challenged this behavior, but I have never gone as the pointed language I suggested. In the past, I’ve said things like, “I don’t want to talk about that when there are crab cakes.” So I’ve never just like let him sit there and lecture me. Thing is, he hops from person to person until he gets a reaction.

And actually? No, HIS BEHAVIOR is not *my fault.* It’s his, primarily, and if anyone else should have stopped him by now, it should have been his wife. But you tried it.[/quote]

So his response is he goes away.  Bingo.  What he does with other people is his business and theirs.  You're already found what works.  Why are you stirring this up???  Sounds like there is more than one person in the family who hopes to get a reaction, just sayin'.[/quote]

Looks like we’ve found the guy who can’t read the room. Bye![/quote]

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