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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Coming to the end of my oldest's 1st grade year, I'm surprised to find I still feel pretty awkward when interacting with his teachers. It's just the in person interaction that feels uncomfortable -- we communicate via email and very occasionally text and that all feels normal. But pretty much every pick up, drop off, or school event, I find myself feeling awkward and uncomfortable talking to his teachers, like I can't quite figure out the correct level of formality and friendliness. During drop off, in particular, I feel like I never get it right -- if I drop off quickly I feel rude, if I stop to have a short conversation I feel like I'm holding them up.

I'm just surprised because I'm not socially awkward generally and even if at first a relationship feels a little uncomfortable, I'm very much a "fake it til you make it person." I can't think of another person I've had a whole year's worth of interactions with and still felt awkward around them to the point that I kind of dread having to see them. I don't feel this way around the daycare teachers for my younger son, nor any of our activity teachers/coaches. But I wonder if it's because we have a financial relationship with those people? Maybe I'm having a hard time with transitioning to a public school setting where [b]I don't personally hire and pay the teachers[/b] so it changes the dynamic a bit? I'm not sure.

Does this get easier as they get older? I don't think his teachers are socially awkward -- it's more like the relationship feels a little undefined and uneasy and somehow that hasn't gotten better all year. Last year we were remote all year and it was also awkward but I wrote it off because everything about last year was worse than normal. But now I'm wondering if this is just how it is.[/quote]

If you think you personally hire & pay your child care teachers, that tells me why you’re feeling awkward. Teachers are not your employees and you’re suddenly faved with that reality.[/quote]

The comment you highlighted literally says "I don't hire and pay the teachers" so I don't know what you're talking about. The point is that it's a different dynamic than, say, having a nanny or paying a daycare, and it can feel like an unfamiliar dynamic for first time parents. With a nanny, for instance, I would have no trouble just telling her "please don't serve my kid these foods for snacks" or "I'd like at least 3 hours outdoors everyday." But I'd never say stuff like that to a teacher. But when your kids are still really young (so public PK and K in particular), and cannot advocate for themselves and are still adjusting to school, you may have questions or concerns about stuff like food and exercise and napping. And you have to learn a new way of talking about them with a public school teacher than you would a childcare worker. Plus I know from experience that even the teachers at that level may have limited control over these things (so much is dictated by district-wide curriculum where we are) so you really have to be careful with how you discuss it, in a way that you would not have had to be with a nanny or daycare.

So that's where the awkwardness comes from. It's a new dynamic, there are additional elements at play, and no one hands you a script or lays out the relationship clearly. You just kind of wing it and hope for the best. I think most PK and K teachers understand that they are dealing with a lot of first time parents who don't know better and that just comes with the territory of being an ECE teacher. But it's not weird or surprising that some parents feel awkward anyway.

Also, some people are just awkward, and that includes teachers. Especially since Covid, some people just struggle to interact normally.[/quote]

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