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Reply to "I insist on paying this right?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I think for this activity she proposed, you say, "we can work it into the budget. The cost is not prohibitive." And you say the opposite when you can't. The other Mother just needs more experience with you. She needs time/experience knowing you say what you mean, and don't hold back on speaking truth. I wouldn't worry about the near-term, whether she pays or not - if she's really wanting to may. Overall, assume the relationship the two of you have will need some time, to know each other. You can press later re: paying equally.[/quote] This is good advice. I don't think you should just default to paying. First, it sets up a really weird dynamic from even the kids' friendship, and it could harm you kid in the long run if the family starts to make assumptions about what you can afford before asking to do anything they don't plan to pay for. But there may be time when their paying is just fine, if it means their kid gets a friend at an activity they wouldn't otherwise do. I went to a private school, and my parents were probably among the wealthiest of the UMC families (we had a couple of families with more business or generational wealth). I think the other mom is being a little bit rude in making assumptions about your financial situation. Over time, hopefully, she'll figure out a way not to assume your financial situation but also make it clear that finances don't need to be a barrier to your kids enjoying an activity together.[/quote]
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