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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, your post is pointless. There is nothing you can do…. You give zero details so how are we supposed to offer advice? If it is something like she is really sick and will die and before then, her health, look or mobility may change then we could offer advise on how to prepare your kids but again, you told us nothing… you say she has told people widely but you can’t give the bare minimum on here? [/quote]

The point of OP’s post was obviously a cry in the night for help, the kind of existential help we all seek when a dear one is in peril. OK? She’s worried. She’s seeking reassurance that obviously no one can guarantee. What we can say, we have. Be kind. Just tell her to say a prayer, hope for the best, hold off on any action or decision until she knows the outcomes or next steps, and tell her you hope all will be well. That’s kind.

I hope all will be well, OP. You’re not in control, and that is scary. But I hope there is some relief knowing that this is not in your hands, and all you can do, you are doing.[/quote]

Thank you. You are 100% correct. I can’t talk to friends because they are also upset. A lot of my friends who don’t know this person are out of town on vacation, and I’m not sure if I should talk to them about it anyway.

This person has had health scares before and I took food but my gut says to lay low given the situation now. During a previous situation, a sibling of the sick person connected with me to facilitate help, so I have that in mind.

I considered sending a note to the spouse but feel like it might be overwhelming to that person.

All anyone can do is wait and pray, I guess.

Today, I plan to bury myself in work so I don’t think about it. I’m leaving town soon and will reach out to my therapist afterward.

Thank you to all who provided support.

PS: A few posters lack empathy. Yikes. [/quote]

OP, upthread a bit, I mention that you can reach out to other friends not in this circle for support—objective friends, if you will. Call a college friend you’ve kept in touch with, a cousin, a trusted co-worker, anyone removed from the situation but who will listen to you with a sympathetic ear, pray with you, and support you.

Your instinct is right: unless someone has been directly told by your friend about this situation, do not tell anyone else. I would avoid even talking with other friends you know about this, to avoid any sort of speculation, added worry, or the possibility that word could get around that you were talking about this and more people knew than your affected friend would want to know.

REaching out to your therapist is a great idea. Be well, try not to worry, and take each day as it comes, OP.[/quote]

Thank you. I do have friends outside the circle. I’ll keep this in mind.

For those complaining about the vague description: Why do you need to know all of their medical details? You don’t need to know that to provide wise counsel.

Other kind and wise people have generously provided advice without every last medical detail shared, and I’m grateful for it.

Thank you to all those who offered kindness and help. I feel more steady.

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