Reply to Putting in one-sided effort for your kids to see their cousins

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the kids? Is she your older sister with older kids? Some of you are reporting quite a lot of siblings visits. That seems really hard as kids grow into their own activities.[/quote]

I agree with this, the kids in question here have to be pretty little. And the reality is that many of these close young cousin relationships won't last thru adolescence and into adulthood. Kids' individual interests become much more important as they get older and many close cousins will stop having things in common, which can be a death knell during ther teen years. My young adult kids and their cousins have grown completely apart, and my younger kid doesn't even really remember the early days that well (our visits started to grow more infrequent when he was around 8, due to older sibling's and cousins' growing time constraints).

So make these trips if it's worth it to YOU, because being with your sister and her family brings you joy.  It is sad (and inconvenient) that your sister doesn't reciprocate, but not the deciding factor here. Unless your sister doesn't want you to come at all, she is accommodating your preference by hosting you so frequently (and presumably graciously, since nothing in your post indicates that the visits are unpleasant in any way). Continue to visit as often as you like because it's what YOU want.

Also, do not assume that because your sister doesn't make an effort that she doesn't value your relationship. If she didn't care, she would rebuff your efforts to visit. Maybe she cares somewhat less than you do, maybe she cares even more than you do but something else prevents her from reciprocating. There is nothing to be gained from weighing your relationship this way. She's your sister and it sounds like she's important to you and this is what she's offering at this time in her life.[/quote]

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