Reply to WDYT Does this person not want to be my friend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a very serious illness in our family that we don't share much about with other people - it gets very complicated quickly and it is no one's business.  The result is that I blow things off all the time.  It upsets me a great deal that I do this, but I do my best.  No advice, just the suggestion of compassion.

[/quote]

Why don't you say, "Something came up, I'm so sorry that I can't make it"? There's no reason to just flake out.[/quote]

OP here - Thanks everyone for your feedback.  This last time, I actually did expect it not to happen and went along with my own plans (not that I had any besides hanging out with DH after the kids were asleep, but still) and decided that I would be pleasently surprised if she did contact me, but didn't expect it.

To the pp with the illness - I actually hold no ill-will toward her for not following through.  I am nice to her when I see her, am receptive when she suggests going out and am (would be?) still very happy to go out with her and get to know her better. My only concern is if it's not something like you mention - I don't want to initiate or continue initiating if she actually doesn't want to become better friends - I don't want to put her in an awkward position.  maybe she has enough friends and doesn't want any more - maybe like a pp mentioned, it's taxing for her to socialize and just isn't into it.  That's fine and I'm totally fine with being friendly neighbors - but it's like, if she is just flaky or has an illness or whatever, I don't want to lose the opportunity to get to know her better.

Maybe I'll just keep being nice but not initiate any more (I haven't since the last few times I did and she didn't show) and just keep doing what I have been doing - be pleasently surprised if it does happen, but not expect anything.  [/quote]

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