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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "How to parent this moment: specific example "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Child is almost 7. He’s using the iPad. It has a timer set on it and I wanted to know how much time was left. I asked politely and nicely, “Larlo, can you swipe down to see how much time is left?” “NO! It interrupts my game!” I breath, relax. I ask again, “I just want to know the time, please”. “nO! Why would I do that? No!” “Ok, if you don’t look at the timer now, I will take it.” “No! Mama! No! Stop this! I’m playing!” Soooooo I take it, he screams, screams, screams. I try to stay calm, he screams “you didn’t even warn me!” Help.[/quote] I would have taken it away the first time he spoke to me like that. However, I suspect he speaks to you like this all the time. This is on you He is a spoiled brat and he would be a very long time before he played any game again.[/quote] I personally think that OP is doing a poor job of teaching her son how to behave appropriately. She showed very little respect for him or his free time. Is it any wonder that he showed the same lack of respect for her? OP--yes, your son was rude and deserves to be disciplined for it. However, you need to do so gently because you set the poor example for him. You showed him that he doesn't get or deserve respect, so he lashed out at you with same lack of respect. You need to show that you respect him. You gave him screen time with a limit. He was entitled to that time, uninterrupted by you. You interrupted him, the first sign of disrespect. You asked him a question. He gave you an answer. You interrupted him again, again being completely disrespectful. Essentially, you're teaching him that you can ask a question, he can say no and that you don't need to take no for an answer. If you were a father or male figure doing the same to a daughter, the armies of DCUM would descend upon you and teach you that "no" means no. That means that when he is on his own free time, or time you've set for him, you have to give him the time. You can't interrupt him. If you interrupt him, it needs to be for a good reason, not that you coudln't be bothered to set a separate timer so you wouldn't have to interrupt him. And if you ask a question, and the answer is no, you have to respect that. Now, you need to go back and figure out how to teach the both of you to be more respectful of each other. I get that there are times that there are different rules for adults and children, but they have to be important reasons. In this case they were not, so you need to be as respectful towards him as you expect him to be towards you.[/quote]
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