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Reply to "Retired husband and younger wife still working - did this work for you long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I do think many wives find that their older husbands don't have any connection in the community.  People will say it is his decision how to live his retirement -- but I think it is fine to prod him.  I don't know how to do it exactly, but I think you have to push him out of his comfort zone and get him connected in multiple ways to your local community.  Figure out what would motivate him to do it but -- here are some ideas:

- something with the local cub scouts
- join a men's club at the church or civid group
- local political organization that holds events, lectures etc.
- get on the town listserv if there is one
- join the school PTA -- our PTAs have community members

Do something with people who are young (kids), people who are young adults (mentoring), people who are young parents, people who are older (politics probably) and old farts like himself.  A mix of ages.  It isn't enough to just have a few friends his age who go out to eat together.  You have to push this, and probably get involved yourself too.

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This is OP here. Thanks for the suggestions but I don't think my husband is up for any of this ... for now. He's not even looking into local community groups and activities right now. He told me he's looking forward to spending the summer in our garden (which is looking pretty by the way). I don't think he wants to be part of anything that involves group activities or even obligations or commitments to others.

He spent years of his working life in senior management, in a very full on, demanding and often stressful job, and it has taken a lot out of him.
He may well need a year to adjust to his new found freedom before he decides what to do next.
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