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Reply to "What are examples of “enmeshed “ and why does it seem to have a negative connotation? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are examples of “enmeshed” and why does it seem to have a negative outcome? What does a healthy relationship look like with parents who live nearby where both child and parents like each other and want to spend time together? [/quote] Dinner once a week, stop by to talk adults only, go to family sports games or concerts or bday parties. Maybe some babysitting. Celebrate bdays and mothers or Father’s Day Emeshment would be way beyond that like stopping by all the time, bringing your laundry over or eating their food up all the time, asking for them to make decisions for you, needing them to drive you around frequently even if could afford a taxi, etc. [/quote] No, enmeshment is also about how you interact even if you don't see eachother as often. Some examples of enmeshment when you live that close: -gossip about whoever is not there -guilt-tripping anyone who declines to join -absorbing eachother's negative emotions-mom is upset so everyone is miserable -being there out of obligation, not enjoyment -using money to control others-gifts with strings -set rigid family roles or no boundaries at all-2 extremes forcing kids to be close because they are cousins rather than letting them figure out the level of relationship -confiding in family about marital problems that you should deal directly with your spouse about -Needing mommy and daddy's approval for decisions about the family you created -dad calling you over and over with his problems and upset you don't pick up -frequent texts that become intrusive and you fear setting a boundary will start trouble -stopping by without calling first[/quote]
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