Reply to Where have we gone wrong, and how to do better going forward?

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[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here with 25 years experience with special needs children- A lot of those instagram accounts just show the good times. I find a lot of those accounts unrealistic and set parents up to fail, because you can’t follow the ‘plan’ because the ‘program’ often only exists on instagram.

For adhd, I would suggest you not to the a la mode ‘fluently parenting’. It doesn’t work, especially with adhd. You child needs very clear boundaries, given in a kind/not authoritarian way. I always tell families that I am firm, but kind, and I won’t work for families who do attachment/gentle parenting, because generally it’s just permissive/no rules parenting.

When children yell at me or don’t behave, instead of sending them to their room, I remove myself from the situation. I calmly say “I would love to play (insert activity) with you right now, but when you see (insert behavior), I need to leave the room. When you are ready to play, I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen”. Sending kids to their room or a naughty chair etc just kind of escalates things.

I like to make a plan for the day with children, so get have input into what’s happening. For example if they don’t want to brush their teeth, I remind them “remember we said we were going to do X after you brushed your teeth? Let me Kobe when you’re ready!”[/quote]

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