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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think there's a lot you can do except keep inviting her over.  It sucks that she's not self-aware enough to see why the kids gravitate to their other aunt -- maybe instead of making it about the kids try to respond by saying something you do value/like about her?  I know you clearly prefer your SIL but there must be something you think is admirable about your sister, right?

FWIW, I have an aunt and a sister who are just really not little kid people.  They aren't jealous/on their phone like you describe, but they're really not great with dealing with little kids.  But they are both invaluable family members for teens to have.  I know I valued visiting my not-good-with-kids aunt as a teen and being able to connect with in a more adult peer way (because she didn't know how to talk to me as a kid lol) and it helped me figure out some stuff.  Similarly, my sister has never been a close confidant of our niece but when she (the niece) was going through some stuff as a teen, my sister's presents were always the best because my sister always gives books and she was GOOD and choosing the things my niece needed when everyone else was floundering.[b]  So the ability to get down and play pretend or build lego with elementary schoolers is absolutely not required for a good aunt/nibling relationship[/b].[/quote]

This is true. I have an aunt/uncle who were great w us when we were young kids (I remember playing w them a lot and thinking they were so fun) but then they didn’t seem to know how to relate to us as we got older—they didn’t know how to have a relationship w teens/young adults. They’re still great w young kids though! Then I have another uncle who showed no interest in us until we were young adults and now that we’re grown, we’ve become really close to that uncle. He’s just not a kid person.[/quote]

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