Reply to How to Fix This DH and MIL Issue

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's normal for people to respond truthfully when asked about a relative. What's he supposed to do when his mom asked about your mom? Lie? It's not lack of common sense. He deals with things in a straightforward manner and your plans of when to tell and whom to tell are much too complicated.

I view news of this nature as something that you don't volunteer, but when asked by people who care, you don't lie either. [/quote]

When someone asks how is Larlo doing, I talk about their sports, music, school, friends.  I don't launch into their latest doctor's visit.  Weird that you jump straight to health.[/quote]

Your Larlo example is appropriate for a child. It's not appropriate for adults. How is YOUR mother doing with her tennis game and understanding Lizzo's lyrics of her latest song and her 65th HS reunion? See how ridiculous that sounds. [/quote]

It would seem perfectly reasonably to talk about the latest play the grandmother attended, or the game night, or book club, or the volunteering she does with her church, or the trip she is planning this summer or, or, so many other things besides health.  Its like you think the only thing happening in a grand parent's life is their health.  #ageism?[/quote]

Wow. You're pretty clueless. Both of my parents had cancer. Believe me, they were not attending plays, having game nights, book club, or planning trips. They were hunkered down and trying to figure out the best treatment plans. In the meantime, they were limiting their social lives to minimize exposure to infectious diseases.

There is a big elephant in the room. Talking about it is not ageism--ffs![/quote]

You're responding to OP (me).  Maybe I should have made that clear. I definitely could have been more polite.  I assure you I am not clueless.  These are all things my mom is doing while figuring this out.  I don't know if this is common but her doctor says she's not at any more or less risk of infection because of her cancer.  He says her biggest risk factor for catching something is just the fact that she's elderly.  So yeah, she's still living her life and is actually trying to keep extra busy to distract herself from what she can't control while doing the testing and waiting for results.  She's also spent the past 2 years writing a book (thank you COVID), so there is always that DH could have talked about.  My point about ageism was that there is more to an elderly person's life than their health.  I can imagine nearer the end of anyone's life when mobility is severely limited that this is no longer the case, we're not there yet.  She's still sorting out the diagnosis.   I think I mentioned in my original post that this cancer isn't particularly aggressive.  I'll also clarify that she's not in any pain, its not slowing her down at all.[/quote]

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