Reply to How to Fix This DH and MIL Issue

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I am so sorry that you are dealing with your mother having cancer. My father had cancer and it was very hard on everyone. This journey can be very emotional, stressful and plain awful. I wish you and your mother good health and peace.

That being said, I sincerely think OP you are making this mental gymnastic exercise way more complicated than it needs to be. Way more.

Does your mother care if other people know or is that just what you think?  Ask her.

Be direct with your MIL, pick up the phone, call her and have a concise, kind and direct 5 minute conversation: hello MIL. I wanted to let you know that I was caught off guard when you asked re my mother and yes, she does indeed have cancer. She is in the initial stages of determining a treatment plan, so at this point we don't have much information to share on what will happen next, but whenever I do have something I can share I will. In the meantime, she would prefer to keep her diagnosis discrete so I ask you not disclose it to anyone outside the family. I appreciate your asking about her. Your support means a lot me.  Talk to you later.

My MIL had ALS, which is terminal. My parents weren't close with my inlaws, but they liked one another enough I guess.  My mother especially was so sad about my MIL's illness and her decline. She would ask about my MIL all the time. If they had lived closer I am sure my mother would have offered in person help.  Perhaps your MIL OP is coming from a good place as well. Maybe she is honestly worried not only about MIL but also about you.

You don't need to jump through all these mental hoops. I'm sorry this is happening, but many people are good and care. [/quote]

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