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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to let him know that mommy will die one day and he needs to grow up to learn to do things by himself. Once or twice a month, he would say that he will feel sad because there's only 12 years left before he is going to be kicked out. He would ask if I will give him some money before he leaves, or will he have a party before he leave home.  [/quote]

His worry suggests that you have pushed it too far. Yes, kids need to learn that their parents will die, but I certainly am not proactively reminding my kids of that fact. It's more that they gradually learn what death is, and then that all people die, and then have the realization that that means their parents will die too! And then when they freak out, I'm there as a parent to comfort them, saying that I don't intend to die for a very long time, but also that I will make sure that my child is always taken care of. I don't use my inevitable death as a threat.

I do want my kids to be independent adults who can function on their own out in the world, but I expect them to do so with must support and gradually lessening intervention, not out of fear that they'll be all alone in the cold, cruel world the day they turn 18.[/quote]

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