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[quote=Anonymous]My mother did not yell, but she engaged me in a serious battle of wills and her unwillingness to ever let me "win" ruined our relationship until I was in my 30s.  Unfortunately, I'm a yeller by nature so my concern is to (1) not yell, and (2) never break my child's spirit by always trying to be dominant over her.  When I am being a good mommy, I can diffuse tantrums or bad behavior with some silliness or distraction (my DD is 2.5).  When that doesn't work and she starts to be a beast, sometimes I feel like I sort of float above my body and I have this sort of detached, rational ability to respond.  I talk in an abnormally slow, soft voice.  When I am being a not-so-good mommy and I start to lose my sh*t, I try to imagine that someone is watching me.  Silly as it sounds, that usually shames me into better behavior.   When my tactics fail and I do something I regret, I always try to give my DD a very sincere apology, coupled with a lot of affection.

Does anyone have any tips for the battle-of-wills relationship?  It is so ingrained in me to WIN and I struggle every single day to create situations where there is no winner/loser.  I feel like it's only going to get tougher as she grows up and challenges my authority more often.  [/quote]

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