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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,[b] yes I know the answer is organization and planning. [/b]Also they needed to be outside and the rain didn't help. But sometimes it's just a lot; at 10 with a friend over, I expect DD to be occupied and engaged with that friend, not have that friend and her try to engage me. Again, this is a dynamic between these two that is not new, so I should learn to expect it. I think I just hit my limit today.

To PP who said that's concerning, I agree. But I don't get any feedback like this when DD plays at others' houses and she knows to clean up after herself, how to problem solve, etc. She does less well at home bc I think she relies on me, which is my issue to solve, I'm aware.[/quote]

NP. I mean...yes and no. The answer is that she and her friend are old enough to supervise and entertain themselves, and they only way they will learn how to do it is if they are given the opportunity to do it. I'm assuming you already have a ton of things in your home that could keep your child occupied: games, crafts, toy, books, screens if you allow that. In terms of organization and planning, I would have a talk with her beforehand. "Larla, you are too old now to have your mom play with you on playdates. That is not something most kids your age do, and I am busy today with chores. So tell me some things you and Slarla can do while she is here. Ok, sounds good. And you guys are old enough to get your own snacks. You can get X, Y, and Z for snacks. If you ask me to do these things while she is here, I am going to remind you both that you are old enough now to do these things alone, and I am busy."

If she and her friend can't entertain themselves, tell them they can end the playdate early. If this regularly happens, she may not be the best kid to have over. Both my kids had friends at this age who I would only have over under specific circumstances (i.e., we were already planning an activity or outing that would keep them occupied, like going to a movie, and then I would end the playdate after that). If my kids complained, I would explain "Slara gets bored at our house and it's too hard for me to do chores when she is here." I'm sure it probably got repeated to the other kids at some point, but whatever.[/quote]

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