Reply to How do you ask grandparents to not force affection?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "How do you ask grandparents to not force affection?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hmmmm.  I think there's a fine line here.  Yes, you want to promote your child's right to control his/her own body and to be able to say "no" to unwanted contact.  But is kissing grandparents really an issue of "controlling one's own body"?  I'm not so sure.  These are grandparents, not the school janitor, for god's sake.

I think it's perfectly appropriate to say to a child "You need to kiss gpa/gma hello and goodbye.  [b]It will hurt their feelings if you don't accept their kiss.[/b]"

[b]Kissing hello and goodbye is etiquette for a child[/b].  [/quote]

I think this is a weird precedent to set. I think controlling your own body, trusting your own instincts, and expressing sincere affection is more important. To each her/his own.

OP, my in-laws used to try to push my nephews to hug and kiss me when they rarely saw me. I told my MIL and FIL not to tell the boys that they had to give me affection, and that I was willing to wait for them to approach me on their own. Now, that we've gotten to know each other, they hang all over me, willingly. Some older adults just don't get it, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't try. [/quote]

The concept of controlling your own body applies in the realm of sexual abuse.  But there are many other instances in which we do NOT control our own bodies.  Especially children.  We tell them all day long what to do with their bodies.  It's hypocritical to turn around and say "Oh, Annabelle controls her own body, she gets to decide whether or not to kiss Grandma Gertie."  And I stand by my statement that good etiquette calls for giving your grandparents a kiss hello and goodbye.  It's not child abuse or an abuse of your child's control of their own body to expect them to deliver a kiss to an elderly family member.  It's good manners.  You are not expecting that they accept a sexual favor.

And this business about "expressing sincere affection."  Please.  Give me a break.  Maybe your child shouldn't have to share either.  That's not sincere.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics