Reply to How do you not yell at your child?

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Reply to "How do you not yell at your child?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I yell at my kids, but only when I'm exhausted and have exhausted all other means of getting them to do what I need done. Usually the yelling, as last resort, works. It's not fun, and no, I don't recommend it, but there are times when nothing else works. I think I yell when I'm short on time. So, my advice to you, OP, is to allow yourself plenty of time all the time. When I have time to describe my children's feelings, I usually don't need to yell. I also describe my own feelings. I ask them, "Do you want me to yell at you?" "Do you like it when I yell at you?" "Does it make you feel good when I yell at you?" Sometimes that's all it takes, and they listen to me at that point. My children are older, so now they do a lot of willful ignoring, which is difficult to deal with. I do try to stand back and realize that they are acting like, uh, children, and not get emotionally involved, as a PP said. I used to yell a lot more, because I was so, so tired all the time, and didn't have the energy to spend time coming up with logical consequences all the time and helping them express their feelings.

Don't know if this is any help, but I thought I'd add my .02. My mom was also a yeller, and I swore I'd never yell at my children, but I am not a perfect person with the disposition and patience of a saint. I think my kids are doing fine, and that the times I do break down and yell, they know they've pushed me to the breaking point. It no longer happens very often (I used to yell at them a lot more, but I get a lot more rest now), so I think it's manageable. I expect it will stop entirely as they get older. It's no fun to yell at people, especially ones you love as much as your children. [/quote]

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