Reply to my son recently got dumped by his GF. What would you say to him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some combination of sorry you're hurting, break ups suck. On to the next and you'll find the best fit for you in time.
At some point encourage him to take the positives with him meaning the things he had in her or their relationship he would want in future relationships and the things she wouldn't.
I would avoid directly criticizing her because they could get back together and he will hold any bad words you say about her against you.

If his depression seems to be going beyond normal breakup angst encourage him to talk to a professional.[/quote]

OP here.  Thank you.

He has been living by himself since he was 18 years old, and he is a very independent person.  He talked to DH all the time so that's how I found out about the breakup.  DH encouraged DS to go see a therapist during this difficult time.  He will get a 7M trust fund setup for him by my FIL by the age of 26 and he doesn't even know about the existence of the trust fund.  DH will have to tell him and handover the trust fund when he turns 26 years old.  I met his ex a few times and I am neutral but DH thought she is a social climber.  I just want to be there to support him, and say the right thing, not make the situation worse.[/quote]

You say she’s the social climber, but you’re the one who keeps talking about money. And good lord, no, you don’t tell him to USE women as a means of revenge. You’re gonna end up with an angry young man who rants on the Internet all day about how women are all gold diggings whores.

Quit making it all about the girlfriend and how horrible she was. You don’t know what went on, and even if what you say is true, she has every right to leave him for someone with more social currency.

Just listen and empathize with him. I don’t know if he needs therapy, that seems a bit excessive and like you’re pawning him off on someone else so you don’t have to deal with his feelings. If he wants a therapist, sure, but usually people just need someone to listen and be empathetic. [/quote]

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