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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Flame away, but I would take him inside, give a brief but stern reprimanded and explanation of the consequences, and I would turn him over my knee and spank him. I have done this, and when used dispassionately, it is extremely effective.[/quote]

Right.... "Honey, hitting your brother is wrong. Let me teach you this lesson by hitting you". A very good way to create resentment and shame in your child. I guarantee you are only teaching your child to be vilolent behind your back.

Punishing an impulse behavior will not fix the problem.

OP, it sounds like you are handling this very well. You understand what the bigger issue is (your son is frustrated, and like all 3 year olds, impulse), so keep working on that. 
[/quote]

DP, meh. It does work. Because the 3 year old DOES have control (unless there are SN). Also, obviously a dispassionate spank by a parent as a consequence is different and kids aren’t morons, they know it is different. Just as it is different for the state to lock you up versus your next door neighbor to lock you up. [/quote]

I feel bad for your children.[/quote]

ok...

[/quote]

Let me clarify - I feel bad that you feel spanking is an acceptable "consequence". Discipline is intended to teach children acceptable behavior. There has been so much research showing us why hitting children does not work - that it is minimally effective in the short term and not effective in the long term. It models aggression. It creates shame. It makes children angry at their parents. It becomes less effective over time. When an adult spanks a child, they are not saying "Oh yes, I see now, I hurt my brother, I won't do that any more". Instead they are flooded with anger and shame, and research tells us we can not learn when we experience this flood of emotions. But what we can learn is, "oh, I better not let mommy see me hit Billy, I'll do it when Mommy's not here". It doesn't address the root of the problem.

Anyway, OP never said she was spanking her child. I was just horrified that some people out there still feel this is acceptable and effective.[/quote]

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