Reply to My 12 year old daughter wants to change custody arrangements

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[quote=Anonymous]This needs to be a discussion you have with your wife, ex wife and her husband. This is not something you should be discussing with your daughter until you’ve spoken with all the other adults that would be affected by the change. The 12 year old does not dictate the custody agreement just because she’s upset. Your entertaining this idea with her will just result in her manipulating the situation to get what she wants. You need to table the custody discussion with your daughter and help her work through the issues with her mom. Be supportive and understanding and realize she’s a 12 year old in an upset state that still needs her mother especially at this age. Nothing should be changed right now just because she says so. Take her for an extra weekend if you need to but be supportive of the relationship she has with her mother and help her navigate this. You don’t need to be creating a bigger divide in the mother daughter relationship by taking her away from her. She’s an adolescent girl that’s going to need both of you over the next few years, focus on her and help her through this. She’s going to have many more problems as she grows up, teach her to handle it not run from it. If she really is in a harmful situation or all the adults decide it’s best then you make changes but not now like this, you’ll only be making it worse not better. [/quote]

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